It was a big step this past weekend for ole’ Mommy. Bryan and I went away for the weekend and although I was looking forward to it for months it was a different story when the day rolled around. I was looking forward to the little things like dressing up in clothes that were not workout looking clothes. Eating a meal without having to shovel it into my face before someone gets upset or takes someone’s toy. Having an unscheduled day, no routine, not breakfast to make, lunch, dinner, snacks…No diapers to change. Finally, a chance to catch my breath and relax and recharge my batteries.
We left the house and I think I stopped crying or tearing up around Norman (we were headed to Dallas). I timed it so we left around their morning nap. I think they knew we were leaving because they fussed and whined and were hard to put down. That made me even more upset. All those things I wished for in one weekend sort of seemed not important at the moment, but I pressed on.
It seemed like the longest road trip ever to Dallas, but once we got to the Four Seasons Resort and Spa I was having a great time. The funk was wearing off and I was starting to relax. It felt good to have my hair fixed, makeup on and actually having conversations with Bryan :). We spent the afternoon at the pool. I was actually proud of myself for being in a bikini after having triplets! We had an amazing dinner at a restaurant called Lonesome Dove in the Ft. Worth Stockyards. Around 8 p.m., I knew the girls would be getting ready to go down for bed. My anxiety level sort of showed and I was just distracted. They gave my parents a hard time and they didn’t get them down until around 10:30 p.m. I know their sleeping schedule doesn’t seem like something to worry about, but after you have been so scheduled (me being scheduled also) for almost 16 months it is a tough thing to do to just relax at certain times in the day. They are almost never predictable. We have come a long way!
I slept awful that night. The beds there were amazing and fluffy including the pillows and I tossed and turned all night. The girls were in amazing care with their favorite people all weekend and I just had a hard time shaking being away from them. It was just really, really quiet. Erie quiet with no monitor next to me. It was almost such wasted emotion because they were having a blast and that is what I should have been doing as well. A lot of emotion seem to just overcome me and maybe it is just the build up of all that has transpired over the past two years. A lot of weight to be carried and it is not that easy to just let it all go. Especially, in such a short trip. I had settled into be a crazy triplet mom and I have overcome a lot in the past 16 months. This trip has helped open my eyes to the things that I need to pay attention to for myself so I can try to have some type of balance moving forward. Easier said than done for all moms out there 🙂
The next day I woke up and I knew the day was going to be better than the last. I had lunch with one of my best gal pal’s that lives in Dallas. That was so much fun. Then I spent the afternoon at the spa. That felt amazing. There was a dinner and auction that night in the hotel and we dressed up and had a great time. Still didn’t sleep well. But, that may have had to do with the hotel fire alarm going off at midnight and sending everyone on our floor into a tizzy. False alarm. Then, our weather radio apps kept going off on our phones because of the storms brewing back in Oklahoma. And lastly, someone called our room at 6 a.m. and got the wrong number. We finally got up and made the most of our morning, ordered room service, laid by the pool and got ready to head back. I could not wait to see my girls!
It was a great weekend to be husband and wife and not just parents, a woman and not just a mom. But, what I realized is that all the things that are in my daily routine with my clothing options, the girls, the change in our life completely, is all what it is supposed to be. I always expect too much out of myself and most days don’t even get my own self a break from being a control freak. But, I am proud of our family and I am proud of me for doing this the best way we know how. That is a better feeling than any trip to a Four Seasons or any trip to the spa. Ok, I think I could use a massage every now and then 🙂
We got home and the girls were napping. I wanted to wake them up so bad, but I know better than that! Once they did wake up, they were sort of bashful to Bryan and I. I almost cried because they didn’t really seem excited at all to see us. Like I said, wasted emotion on 15 month olds that have short attention span and a blast with their grandparents! But, it was wonderful to put them to bed and wake up this morning to see their faces!!
I think being away always make the heart grow fonder. More importantly, it is a great opportunity to really focus on YOU as a woman but remember that YOU as a woman is YOU as mom and vice versa. They are the best thing I have done in my life, so why would I not feel that way 🙂 I think next time I could handle it better, but right now I don’t want to think about it. Until next month when I escape for a girls’ weekend! Hahaha.
Mom that survived the weekend in style,