We surrender: Please give all of us the gift of sleep back

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No BUNNY would tell by looking at these three precious girls that they have chosen to be night owls.  Unless you were with us during the day, you would not notice that they are so sleep deprived, whiney, sick and just flat-out sick of change.  Mommy and Daddy are too.  We moved into our new house about a month ago.  We knew the transition would be difficult for a few reasons.

1. They were moved into their own rooms – for the first time – EVER.

2. New place to discover and to be scared about where Mommy and Daddy are at night.

3. Because of these anxieties, the trio had decided to crawl out of their cribs, EVERY NIGHT and come in our bedroom.

4. Leading to this last change – toddler beds.

5. Oh wait, did I mention they are all sick again?

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Who doesn’t want to cuddle this face in the middle of the night?

Bryan and I are beyond tired.  We have averaged about three to four hours of sleep on a good night for about 45 days now.  I even broke down and called our pediatrician because I was so concerned about their health and how I could remedy this situation.  They wake up at least three times a night.  They either cry or walk in our room.  We have given up several nights and wind up with who knows in our bed in the morning.  Not a good habit but purely out of desperation.  This reminds me of their infant days where we literally would see the sun come up.  Our pediatrician also reminded us that since they were in my tummy they have never developed a healthy sleep pattern. They spent six weeks in the NICU with alarms going off, the lights on, babies crying, nurses poking them and drawing blood every night…Then they came home with us and we had no idea what we were doing.  Looking back I would have done so many things different.  Shoulda, Coulda and Woulda…Huh?

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Some BUNNY check out my cuteness at 2am and 3 and 4 am.

We have had a lot on our plates.  The girls sickness and sleepless issues, the move, I had a minor surgery on my finger that is still lingering and aching, and the biggest one is that my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer in January.  He had surgery last month and is healing slowly.  His prognosis is good but its all very emotional.

I am a faithful woman.  You have to be when God puts things in front of you and asks you to handle them the best you know how.  Sometimes I say to Him, “I just don’t think I can” or “Are you sure I am the right person for this?”

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Most darling “bug” EVER..In your bed kicking you.

Before I continue, please don’t portray this post as a complaint about my children.  I pray for strength each day to be the best mother I can be while still attempting to be a good wife, good daughter, good sister and friend.  Most mothers know that your relationships with friends go stale at times when you are battling your battles.  I have some wonderful girlfriends that I know understand and even the ones that don’t because they are not in this phase of their lives yet are supportive.  Just wish we were doing “girlfriend” things more.  You keep up with texts and emails and 7AM shout outs about your hard moments in parenting.  Thankfully, you are still connected to the outside world somehow!

Tonight, I pray God hears my plea.  That He lifts up my little family and heals my girls.  That He guides Bryan and I to have more knowledge and wisdom in situations as they arise.  I pray for my Dad and Mom as they continue on this journey of healing. My dad, and my mom, are wonderful grandparents.  The girls LOVE their PAPA.  He is a patient and kind man that deserves healing and time building a relationship with his granddaughters.

When the body is weak I have learned so is my spirit.  I am staying positive and I do know that this is a season that will pass.

My beautiful girls are my purpose and they teach me about life everyday.  My biggest prayer is through the challenges that I hold on and embrace the moment.  It is going too fast.  Three years ago we began our destiny and two years have flown by with Avery, Emmie and Camdyn.

Developmentally and physically they could not be more on par for their age.  They are doing so well and just as many people ask, “Do they have different personalities’? the answer is a wonderful YES.

So for all the sleepless parents out there….We are up at 3 am if you want to talk.  We are in deep and pushing forward!  Spring sounds so great right now, but then I hear we have snow coming this weekend. Are you serious?

For all the parents who have had babies sleep through the night since day one…I hope you know how lucky you are to have your sanity, at least while you are sleeping 🙂

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Worth every yawn, every cup of coffee, every thing….

Photos by Kim Stubbs Photography

Love,

Sleeping on the floor beside their cribs…

Stephanie